Who the F@%# is paying for all of this?



That’s the first thing I thought when I came down the stairs tonight. I’m in Phoenix at this rockin’ resort that hosts tons of conventions, corporate travelers and their tag-alongs. I’m here on a corporate rate that’s a quarter of the published rate. Negotiated corporate rates are the only way I’d ever get into a place like this. A chicken breast with polenta is thirty-five bucks. There are pool boys everywhere. The staff says things like “good evening” and “my pleasure” when you walk to your room at the end of your day. The greeting when you call the front desk is three sentences long. Waiting for the cue that it’s your turn to talk is excruciating. “Thank you for calling the front desk at the (insert hotel name here). It’s a beautiful evening here in lovely Phoenix and we hope you’re enjoying your stay. My name is Jason it’s my pleasure to help you Miss (this is where they stumble) J..J...Jack….in…crack…er.” The longer the greeting the more expensive the hotel.

The favorite subject here in the Lobby Bar is what you can put on your expense report. “Well, my new manager is pretty cool so I think that if I have a bar tab here I’d be able to justify it if she asks. After all, I am at a Sales and Marketing conference and what’s Sales and Marketing without a bar tab? Everything else I’ve spent has been totally on track with corporate initiatives- ya know, we’re ‘putting the customer first’ and so I guess another round would be okay. Put it on my room!”

Another observation. People in this Lobby Bar fall into the following categories: Drunk dominant Sales Managers who like to yell periodically, their wing men, timid go-with-the-flow new hires, well dressed wives, homely spinster glass ceiling types, rich grandparents, and annoyed bar staff. Lack of a color-coded polo is the only thing
separating me from being part of the annoyed bar staff club. I could be one of them with a simple costume change. But instead, I sit here blogging my observations with a critical tone and continue to listen to the conversations around me. All while I thank my lucky stars for my expense report. “Put it on my room!”